parent: why hasn't ____ been round lately? I thought you were friends
me: well they turned into a cunt
sherlockedbyphaninthetardis: davedirk: davedirk: lauraforgood: m33wlin: WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT HAVE FRIENDS can we have a...
"These are my heroes, mom, I look up to them"
fishingboatproceeds: allthingsbagel: fishingboatproceeds: danisnotonfire: amazingphil: kickthepj: crabstickz: People Are Easy To Kill is that john green no
meowmagicianpia: The awkward “I don’t want to annoy you but I really like talking to you” stage.
joycemannerism: ok thats cool but in america you can get 100 mcnuggets for $25
scvlptures: depression is when you don’t really care about anything anxiety is when you care too much about everything and having both is just like what
praying: its hard being boring and ugly at the same time
rapewhistled: *16 year old girl voice* um shut the fuck up thanks
dippingswordsinmetaphors: you know when you listen to a song a whole bunch of times and there is that one line that you never understand and then one day heaven above opens and shines the light and you finally know the words and it’s like an epiphany
fonmasterguard: So no one at my friend’s old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. He rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle
natured: I was standing in line at dairy queen and I saw an elderly lady crying because she didn’t have enough money to pay for her small blizzard, so I bought her a large and helped her out to her car, and she cried and said ” I hope god made someone just for you out in the world so that they can treat you as special as you are” and I am sobbing right now.